What are the underlying rules behind expectation?
Life’s about expecting. We go to bed every night, expecting the next day. We set our alarm expecting it to set off and ring. We expect that the water will just flow when we turn on the tap, expect that the toothpaste will ooze out like an albino slug if we squeeze it.
But beside expectations from these habitual routine, what do we look for in humans? That set of targets and judgement we lay out unknowingly to each and every single one around us, people that are part/not part of our life.
There’s always a level of gauge for everything in life and truth be told that we spent almost our whole life just trying to hit the bull eyes of these incognito dart- board. In analogy, if these supposition laid upon us are the objectives of a shooting game , this makes the expectant the shooter and us the bullet.
Let’s say the physics are already wrong in the first place, how are we suppose to hit those mark? Defy science and bend the time continuum just to twirl and swivel to the intended point?
Disappointment has a hand in everything and it’s no exception in expectations. I spent more than two decades of my life trying to even out the maths of disappointment and happiness and yet concluded nothing. It’s easier to be a letdown because there’s no effort involved. Don’t blame me for being cynical but I am starting to live by the golden rule of not expecting anything from anyone , my heart’s looking like a tortured soldier already. Not going to give a flying fuck anymore, what’s the point of giving your all to everyone while they are just half-hearted about you. Patronising and fake sympathy, that’s how the whole system works.
It’s a war between the heart and mind for we can only chose one, never satisfying both.
I don’t wish to be happy, I just need to be okay.
